Earth Day 2020

Happy Earth Day 2020, people! And really, when we speak of conserving the earth or the environment, we speak of nothing noble or sacrificial, but of making life better for us and for posterity, so happy “Us Day”, too!

So, on this Earth/Us Day, I thought I should make a list of changes my family and I have made to our lifestyle in the last several years. We keep slipping up every now and then, of course, but we try hard not to. Also, I do admit that what we are doing is far from enough, so I’ve also included my “next step “self goals in the list.

1) Bamboo toothbrushes

The plastic that gets wasted when we dispose our plastic toothbrushes is insane! So, a long time ago I switched my toothbrushes to bamboo ones (with plastic bristles, sadly).

Next step: Find good toothbrushes with bamboo bristles

2) Compostable trash can liner bags

We meticulously separate our waste into recyclable and landfill, and have been using compostable trash can liners for a couple of years now. My city doesn’t have separate facility for composting garbage bags, but as these are made from corn and plant products, I know that they are less harmful when rotting in a landfill.

Next step: Start composting to make full use of the compostable bags.

3) No balloons at birthday parties

This one was tough! We started this no-balloons trend at my daughter’s 5th birthday and after some (a lot of) resistance, we managed to convince her that balloons are horrible for the environment and we shouldn’t do something horrible on our birthdays. She still gets to play with balloons if someone thrusts them into her hands despite our disapproval, and I also think that I might occasionally allow her to play with them ( because you know, joy of childhood and all that!), but the senseless manner in which they are bought and distributed and discarded has to stop! Also, we have been using the same birthday decorations for almost 6 years now!

Next step: Find a way to tell the hosts of the birthday party that we won’t be taking home single use plastic party favors. (You’d think that this is me telling them, but whom are we kidding? I know no one reads my blog! 😀 )

4) No disposable plates, silverware, or straws

The amount of disposable plates and cutlery we go through during trips and mainly parties has always made me shudder. And while some people think that paper plates will decompose, most paper plates are coated with plastic so they can hold moist foods and hence, they won’t decompose – by design. So following my friend Aabha’s lead, I went to Ikea and bought a huge set of plates, glasses, and bowls. I haven’t used disposable plates or cutlery at home for years now and now and even offer to lend my whole set to friends for their house parties. We also never use plastic straws and carry our reusable (steel and silicone) straws everywhere. Next step: Figure out a way to use real plates and silverware at picnics and trips. The main problem here is the ability to clean them off properly. Need to find something that will.

5) Water filter pitcher and steel water bottles

I personally detest bottled water, for reasons that are obviously environmental, but also practical – carrying crates of water with you is tiring! And don’t even get me started on how weird the water tastes after it spends a day in the hot trunk of your car! So we always carry lots of steel water bottles and thermal mugs with us when we go out. They are not that heavy, actually. And when we go on trips and have to stay in hotels, we carry our water filter pitcher with us and fill it with tap water. Very convenient and guilt-free, too!

Next step: I guess we are pretty much set here – we have taken week-long trips and have never faced problems with this approach.

6) Reusable shopping bags

We mostly use only reusable bags for everything. Not just cloth bags and totes, we even use mesh bags for small produce. They are another example of how environment-friendliness and convenience go hand-in-hand. Just managing all the plastic bags from stores is a staggering task!

Next step: Figure out a way to reduce packaging material from online shopping.

That’s all I can remember off the top of my mind, but I am sure there’s more I do and even more that I can do. I wanted to tag some friends to let me know what they are doing to Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle, so I can copy their ideas, too; but then I thought why just restrict that to a few people? I am sure all of you do something or the other of this sort, so do let me know your ideas and practices in comments or in separate posts.

Happy Earth Day, once again! 🙂

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Book review: Born a Crime (Stories From a South African Childhood)

Author: Trevor Noah

Date of Publication: 15 November 2016

Genre: Autobiography, Social commentary

Legacy: This is the first book by the author who is a renowned comedian and TV host

Intended Age Group: Any

“We tell people to follow their dreams, but you can only dream of what you can imagine, and, depending on where you come from, your imagination can be quite limited.”

This thought embodies the book. I read this one because it was recommended by a very socially aware friend – I usually steer clear of biographies. And I must say I am grateful to her for encouraging me to read it!

This book tells the bitter-sweet coming-of-age story of Trevor Noah, the son of a black South African mother and a white German/Swiss father. This pairing made him a “colored” boy – of mixed race, which was a whole different street to navigate when it came to the already jumbled and messed up labyrinth of different races and ethnic groups during the African apartheid and thereafter. Not to mention, it was also “illegal” to be of mixed race, hence the title of the book. Noah writes about his childhood experiences of social/racial/domestic/systemic abuse and prejudice and how he sometimes overcame it and sometimes ‘ran with it’ – pun totally intended (read the book to know more!). To be honest, it was eye-opening for me. It never ceases to amaze me how different and yet how similar all cultures are, and how our circumstances pretty much rule us.

To help us understand the African societal structure and constructs, Noah gives us a bit of history in every chapter – it’s a great dose of history! It’s much different from the textbook history we learn without empathy in schools. It’s human nature to dismiss any suffering except our own, and Noah strikingly demonstrates that with the help of various instances including the ‘Hitler’ incident -I won’t narrate it here to avoid spoilers, but that incident, and that whole idea, really made me stop and think. As kids in India, my friends and I also used the name of Hitler flippantly: you know, labeling anyone who was assertive or steadfast as Hitler, greeting each other with a “Hail” just to show comradeship, and even arguing the merits and demerits of dictatorship. We knew about the atrocities committed by Hitler, of course, it was taught in schools; and yet, it was just a story to us. And it was the same for Noah and his fellow Africans, who were themselves the victims of slavery and genocide, and yet, couldn’t empathize with victims of the holocaust.

Trevor Noah is amazingly gifted at observing people and the world. He introduces a world that is so different from the world we ‘imagine’ – because our imagination, as the introductory quote here states, is pretty stunted at best. When we think of Africa and apartheid, we think of injustice; but we hardly ever scale the depths of the destruction of human rights and worse, spirits. There are so many things we take for granted and the success of this book is that it hits us hard about our complacency.

While Noah excels in deep understanding and insight, he lacks in fluid writing (I do think that he is a wonderful comic, but that’s immaterial here). Also, non-linear narrative is great when you are working a mystery, but in a biography – especially one which has so many ‘hues’ – no pun intended, it just tends to confuse the reader. In fact, the back and forth narrative and the long descriptions of his childhood routines is what made me take off a star. But despite that, the book is worth reading for everyone who is the least bit interested in cultures, society, and humanity.

Read this book, people! We often resign to the fact that history is written by victors, but that’s just because the vanquished and the survivors choose to or are forced to stay mum. Not anymore. It’s high time we start listening to their voices – especially when they are as insightful as Trevor Noah’s.

Rating: 4 on 5

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The Hysteria (and atrocity) of Mob Justice

A few days ago, India was shocked to hear the news of a mob of 200-odd people in UP beating to death a man who was rumored to be consuming beef. While there are many different serious issues involved in this situation, including why the beef ban makes no sense, and how the temple was used for entirely ‘un-temple-like’ matters, this post is about the mob and its mentality, and the reasons behind this mentality, if any.

India is no stranger to the concept of a mob. From the time of our struggle for independence from the British, mob demonstrations, protests, meetings, and rallies have been quite common. In fact, these mob gatherings played a very important role in gaining us our independence – Dandi Yatra and Bharat Chhodo Andolan, for instance. However, these were mostly peaceful gatherings, condoning non-violence as a principle. The violent part of our freedom struggle, albeit very important as well, was commandeered by individuals rather than groups.

Thus, it is really strange to see that the mobs of today are far from peaceful. Just a few months ago, an angry mob lynched a rape suspect after breaking him out of a prison in Dimapur. Companies and companies of police forces could not control the mob. The matter lies under investigation while even the guilt of the murdered suspect is not yet established. However, the cruelty with which this suspect was murdered remains for all to be seen.

It saddens me deeply to see how people have stopped believing in the criminal justice system or law enforcement, in general. The humongous number of cases of rape, assault, and abduction; and the general lethargy in prosecuting them has triggered a long-due avalanche of public outrage in our country. People want justice, and they want it right now! But wait! Is any of it really true?

Yes, there is public outrage. But is it over matters that really concern the public? How was it any of those 200 people’s business to prevent the unfortunate man from eating beef? They had a right of opinion, yes; but who in the world gave them the right to enforce their opinion on someone, let alone physically confront them over it? If they had a problem with him eating beef, the most they should have done is filed a report at a police station, if at all that were possible. (I know, the anti-beef law is ridiculous and denying people their staple food while proudly wearing leather shoes and belts is as hypocritical as it can get, but that merits a different blog post altogether. ) What gives them the right to kill someone? If the cow is sacred, isn’t a human life so too?

We have established that this killing makes no sense logically. Some people said to me that it is not a logical but a moral and sentimental issue. Educated people said this, no less. Again, the issue of how educated people fall prey to herd mentality or pandering merits another blog post. (And here I thought I had no topics to write about!) But for now, let’s see how this is (not) a moral and sentimental issue.

If we as a nation were that moral and sentimental, we would have stood up to the many issues that we face today. Take rape, for example. The Dimapur mob did kill a rape suspect when the outrage over numerous unsolved rape investigations was at its peak; but how many people from that mob regularly protest against inappropriate behavior in public places – the eves-teasing, the molestation, and overall unlawful intimidation? Oh and let’s not even open the can of worms called inappropriate behavior of domestic nature!

Don’t these so-called torch-bearers of moral conduct turn a blind eye towards countless “immoral” incidents that happen everyday around them, even when they are in groups?

I myself have been verbally abused in a crowded public bus, when a man whom I told not to lean on me launched a full-fledged filthy-worded sledging attack on me. He even threatened me of dire consequences – while the many men and women around me just watched. Verbal abuse is bad enough, but how many of us even actually interfere in what we can clearly see is a physical or sexual attack? Where does this “moral mob” dissolve then?

When Government officials ask hundreds of people for a bribe, why don’t they unite and use the power of the mob to make the officials see the error in their ways? I remember when I was in Engineering college, public buses routinely refused to let us board until all the seats were filled because we, as students, paid concession fares. Hundreds of students hence traveled standing, but none, including me, had the will to collectively negotiate or reason with the individual buses or with the public transport authorities. This same universal set of students was however more than eager to stage a protest at the university against the rule of introducing uniform attire in colleges. The situations I have mentioned are nothing compared to the heinous crimes that are being committed by mobs, but the underlying problems are the same.

Do mobs only act when it is absolutely illegal to do so? Why is it that a large group of people will shut down an entire market on the day of a strike, but they will not be “moral” or “sentimental” about a poor lonesome fruit vendor who can only have enough money for dinner if he sells enough fruit in the day?

Clearly, a different type of sentiment is at play here. Is it all politically motivated – someone actually pulls the strings and controls the mob after brainwashing them, while letting them believe that they are all in control? Do we as a society need to vent our frustration about the many problems of the world and take any easy route offered to us? Those easy routes mostly happen to be the wrong ones; but we have put out ourselves so much that we cannot retreat? Don’t at least some of us have a crisis of conscience while watching a fellow human being mercilessly beaten and back-off, or try to get others in our ‘united’ group to back off? Do none of these mob members take a moment to think about the consequences of their actions, both short and long term?

So many questions, I know! I am really baffled by all this ominous stuff. The truth is, I refuse to believe that human beings are inherently evil creatures. A few may lose their way, but as a society, we are bound by conscience to behave rationally, compassionately, and justly. At least I hope so. Wake up, fellow human beings! Social interaction or forming groups is what makes us human beings special. It is time to give a good, long thought to how we, as a group, should make each other better, and not worse. Let’s be a solid community,and not just a mob.

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Racism? How beneath our own race!!!

Here’s a transcript of an interview between a journalist and a typical young, educated, white-collared Indian.

Q: Do you think Indians, especially those of the younger generation, are racist?
A: No way, man! It is well-known all over the world – We don’t indulge in racism! We are all-embracing…
In fact, the only race we do believe in is the race for betterment, for success – financial, social, traditional, emotional, and cultural! (They don’t call us the Gen-Next for nothing!) Plus, our culture is the greatest of all, re! Look at all those stupid Americans and Australians… harassing not only Indians, but their own country men living there! We are not like them at all. We believe in “Live and Let Live”!

Q: What is racism, according to you?
A: Racism is being biased towards some races and discrimination and stuff.

Q: So, you are saying that none of us treat people of other races differently?
A: Yeah, yeah, I know that those roadside boys keep whistling at foreign tourists and trying to pick them up. But they are just appreciating beauty – of what value is beauty if no one appreciates it?
And plus, most of these boys are outsiders – from the neighboring states and all, you know! They don’t stay in their limits sometimes; but they are like that only! We can’t teach them these things, right… yeh cheezein to khandaani hain! They speak their own strange languages, and don’t understand ours. But, however useless they are, they don’t do any real harm at all, so it is okay. And don’t even get me started on those originally from neighboring countries! Unka bhi to kuchh nahi ho sakta!

Q: So it is only they who are inclined towards racism?
A: Well I can’t say that directly and be politically incorrect, right? I can tell you for sure that OUR community and state is awesome! We are all modern now! We even write “sub-caste no bar” in our matrimonial ads, for god’s sake!
Also, when my North Indian boss’s daughter wanted to marry a Southie, her family didn’t agree at first. Neither did her boyfriend’s. Different culture, different state, different lifestyle – how to adjust with all that, they both asked? Their point of view was correct in a way. Apne apne samaaj ke sab ladke-ladkiyan mar gaye the kya? But look at both their parents’ generosity and open-mindedness… after she ran away with her boyfriend and got married in court, they graciously welcomed the two of them back. Spent like a crore of rupees on the reception. Totally awesome, right!

Q: What about our internal problems related to casteism?
A: Oh my God… what world are you living in? I am telling you everything’s changed now… Earlier people used to talk about untouchability and stuff. Now we don’t even get to see it anywhere! Well, may be in remote villages and all, but who lives in those anyways – not even a handful of people, I guess. We in the cities are much more modern now… what’s the harm in interacting with those other caste people, I say? It’s not as though they are going to come and live with us now!

Q: And what about discrimination against the “so-called” upper castes and lower castes, both?
A: No, no, what upper castes and what lower castes? Everyone is just basically proud of their own caste and want the best for it – doesn’t mean we discriminate right? Sometimes things just happen… It’s India yaar!

Q: Recently there has been news of certain politicians being violent towards out-of-state vendors and businessmen. Do you approve of such tactics?
A: See, tell me this – India is such a huge country, and a highly developing one at that! Even if we don’t allow people from other states to work in ours, they will surely get jobs in their own. Then why do they want to force the people in our state to seek employment elsewhere by filling up all our jobs? As for violence, it is unfortunate; but again, kya karein, it is inevitable sometimes.

Q: But don’t you think India is a free country and we can all live and work wherever we want in India?
A: Yeah, we are a free country; but that’s why we all need to stay happy in our own zones, na! If no one is happy how will our country be united? And we are so liberal now…even the different castes are not constricted about employment and work. Our society allows Brahmins to run a business, Kshatriyas to become professors, Vaishyas to do blue-collared jobs and even Kshudras to enroll in armed forces… all these people are allowed to do things they aren’t supposed to – how much more liberal can we be, man! To maintain a balance, we need to have some boundaries, right. Without those, we will be like those Americans and Hippies and stuff.

Q: Okay, and what do you have to say about name-calling? Like in USA, calling African-American people Negros is considered politically incorrect as well as outright offensive. But here, people often use racially offensive nicknames. You just used the word ‘Southie’ in a previous answer.
A: Arrey, those Americans create an issue out of everything. We just do the name-calling as a joke, man. Plus, it is the easiest way of referring to them. And don’t victimize them okay, they also have nicknames for our state and community. It’s just tit for tat. Now take the software analogy only… in our own company, we call those who test testers, those who code developers, and so on. Similarly, we have names for those from different states and with small eyes, dark skin, dim wits, tendency to show off, miserly traits, oily hair, gauche accents, country of origin, and so on. What’s racist about that!

Q: Okay then, any parting thoughts on this whole issue of racism?
A: Well, I just want to say that we are not racists at all. No, no, indulging in racism is far, far beneath our glorious race, dude!

[Also published on TheFrustratedIndian blog]]

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Women empowerment begins with women’s efforts first! (And we can do it!)

For the past few days, the media has been abuzz with protests from various different groups about the increasing violence against women. While the vote is split between those who want capital punishment and those who don’t; while people argue about whether or not death meant the end of woes for the brave girl; while the guy-bashing is at its prime; a thought still hounds me…

What are we, as women, doing to fight against this violence and this terror? Is it enough to light candles? Is it enough to discuss furiously among ourselves? Is it enough to teach our male relatives to behave themselves? No, it isn’t, (although the last one is very, very important)! Is it also not our own responsibility to work towards preventing such things? And NO, by this I don’t mean that we should urge women to quit stepping out in the night or wearing what they like. That is not even the last thing I would ever dream of telling women to do. I am talking about how we need to change our mind-set. Because the fact of the matter is, we may scream our lungs out about how men should change their mentality, or how they should be punished if they don’t; but nothing is going to change until we change ourselves! Just like charity begins at home, women empowerment MUST begin with women. Here are a few pointers that I think will help us to begin with:

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1. Treat other women with respect

Unless and until we start respecting our own clan, nobody else is going to respect us. There goes a saying in Hindi “ek aurat hi doosri aurat ki sabse badi dushman hoti hai:” (A woman herself is another woman’s biggest enemy), and I think it is very true. How many cases have we heard wherein a woman tortures her daughter-in-law, or vice versa? How many times does a woman favour her sons over her daughters? Are there girls who think they can disobey their mothers all they like, but not their fathers? Oh plenty! We need to stop taking our own clan for granted.

Stop being jealous of women, just because they are women! We are all human beings; we all can co-exist peacefully and happily. We don’t fret as much if a male co-worker out-performs us, but let a female co-worker do so, and we immediately start pointing fingers, if you know what I mean. Why?

Some people, women included, believe that there are only 2 kinds of women – the good ones or the seedhi saadhi bharatiya naaris and the bad ones or the westernized sluts. And I want to tell all such people that they are disillusioned. We are on our way to becoming one global village, and whether eastern or western, whether seedhi-saadhi or tedhi-medhi, all women deserve to be respected. For that matter, even if the woman is a prostitute or a porn actress or whoever else, she does not deserve to be raped. No one does!

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2. Stop joking about crimes against women

I have actually fought with several of my friends about this: I strongly object to rape jokes in movies or in print. According to me, such jokes are not only not-funny, but are also extremely insulting to all women. One cannot make fun of another woman’s agony, and certainly not if it is as damaging as a rape. In fact, any joke that disrespects a woman only plants a seed of overall disrespect towards women. Some of my friends argue that such jokes are only meant for innocent laughs. But I’m sorry, I think there is neither anything innocent about them, nor can their negative impact be ignored!

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3. Learn a self-defence technique or two

We HAVE to learn to defend ourselves when there is any sort of a physical attack.

Apart from several self-defense moves, there is Karate, kickboxing, and several other fun-to-learn sports that can help you defend yourselves. If physical resistance isn’t your thing, try keeping a pepper spray handy. And in case you don’t have any of these things, try verbal self-defense. Be ready to firmly tell the man to stop or to alert the people around you. Be prepared to do anything to not resign to what you are being subjected to.

One of the biggest excuses I have heard women give for tolerating crimes against them is “How much can we resist? Men are by nature physically stronger than us.” Although I know that is technically true, and I don’t advocate violence; this doesn’t mean that we should not put up a fight. I believe that if an attacker has the slightest doubt that the victim will resist, a large part of his resolve will evaporate. In fact even if you are never subjected to any attack (and I sincerely hope you never are), knowing that you will be able to defend yourself in case you are, will give you a lot of self-confidence.

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4. Do not depend on men for day-to-day things

My best friend Maya and I, even when we were young teenagers, always wondered why we make a taboo of certain areas that are “dangerous for women”, and don’t go there alone, for example on the streets of Gurgaon or Noida, after dark. We always take a male “protector” with us.

Now, it is not that I have never asked my male friends or colleagues to drop me home or elsewhere at night. I have done it several times, and I admit my weakness. But just think about this: if I knew there would be 20 other girls travelling alone at that time on that route, I wouldn’t have been scared to go alone; in fact, I wouldn’t have been alone at all!

Similarly, if 100s of girls can travel on Gurgaon streets with their respective male companions, they can travel there without them too… because face the facts – there are 10 perverts out there, and 100s of us! If we are all united and stand up for each other, there isn’t much we need to be afraid of.

Learn to drive. Carry only as much baggage as you can lift yourselves. Stop unnecessarily boosting male egos – it is one thing to do it because a person cares for you and another thing because that person is a ‘man’!

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5. Do not blame yourself for any crime against you, blame yourself for tolerating such crimes

Always remember that no matter what, a man has no right to touch you without your permission. So do not ever feel that this happened to you because “I used to smile at my company cab driver” or “I went alone to a discotheque” or “I wore shorts in a lonely neighborhood or “I fought with an auto-rickshaw driver for change” or anything else.

Rape is not the only crime against women; there are several others of lesser heinousness… crimes that I’m sure all of us have faced, and most of us have tolerated without a word. Eve teasing, pinching and groping at public places, vulgar actions and display of obscenities, name-calling, dowry-torture, etc. etc. Remember, no one has any right to even verbally abuse you, or pass lewd comments on you or harass you any other way. We are not to be blamed for these misdeeds.

If we have anything to be blamed for, it is for taking these crimes in our stride. It is for our overall lack of empathy towards other women who face such crimes. It is for hiding the crimes of male relatives or friends. So please, fight against these crimes without fear.

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6. STOP giving excuses such as practicality or tradition for your support to male chauvinism

Many men, some of them my own friends, justify dowries by saying things like “It’s our tradition”, “ it is a return of investment – of dowries we paid in our sisters’ weddings”, and even audacious things like “ghar aayi laxmi ko kabhi na nahin bolte “(an old Indian saying – never refuse the wealth that approaches you – it’s bad luck). The worst part is many of my female friends think it is fine to give a dowry as long as your family can afford it. I feel nothing but pity towards these friends.

Even today, when I hear a woman saying she is “extra-happy” because she gave birth to a boy, I am scandalized. If I ask her whether she would have had an abortion in case of a girl, she furiously denies; says it’s only because her family will be happy that she wished for a boy. She insists that she or her family are not killers. What she does not realize is that there is hardly any difference. As it is said, it all starts with a thought. If she is willing to wish for a baby boy due to a little societal pressure, goodness knows what she will do if she is subjected to too much of it.

Stop belittling yourself, whether you earn money, or not. When you are in a family, it is your emotional support that counts. And if you still don’t believe me, ask women who earn much more than their husbands about whether they face domination.

Stand up for yourself! You are yourself before being someone’s daughter, wife, or mother. Fulfill your responsibility towards yourself first. Say no to anything that is insulting to you as a woman – gender bias at home, eve teasing, rape, sexual harassment, kanyadaan (yes, it is high time we recognize that we are not anybody’s property to be given away, not even our fathers’!), dowry, female foeticide, overall male domination, and so on… the list is really very long!

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7. Help and empathize with those who face sexual crime

If a woman is raped, it is not her fault. Welcome her back into her own world, respect her and her experiences, and ease her back into her normal life. Yes, the trial for justice will take some time, but don’t do injustice to her by secluding her or even pitying her. She is still as much a woman as you are. Always remember that!

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There is a lot more that I could write on this topic; the above list is not at all comprehensive; but that would make this post too long for its own good. Hence, let me stop here, for now. I am sure that if we start with these little things; we can do our part in changing this world.

I know many people, both men and women alike, are not going to like this post. Nevertheless, I believe that if we want to see change, we are going to have to be bold and change ourselves.

Before ending my post, I would like to remind all women, that men are not our enemies. I am sure there are as many great men out there as there are bad or weak ones. So while being a feminist, do not be a chauvinist. The idea is to fight oppression, not to oppress in return.

Please do let me know what you think about this post – and let me know any other ideas that you have.

Remember:

We are NOT a weak or an inferior sex!

We are not ‘property’!

We never ‘ask for it’!

We cannot wait for others to fight our battle!

We must treat every woman’s battle as our own – because it could happen to us someday!

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I felt ashamed of myself today…

Picture this incident – The driver of a PMPML bus that was quite vacant, shut both the doors of the bus at an overcrowded Sanghvi Fata bus stop, so that people couldn’t board it. A boy, 15-16 years old, protested and asked for the door to be opened. The conductor did not listen, and barked that there was another empty bus behind. As we had already guessed, there was none! As this bus tried to make way through the heavy traffic, 4-5 ppl including the boy, again caught up with it, and began yelling that they had been waiting for over an hour there, and they must be let in. The driver and conductor didn’t budge…so the boy stood in front of the bus and blocked its way….Quite some traffic was accumulating behind us, so I thought the boys would be let in..To my horror, the conductor and driver not just kept the doors of the bus shut, but threatened the boy that they would run him over, if he didn’t make way for the bus. This screaming, yelling and abusing went on for a long time…vehicles kept honking behind us and a decision had to be taken by somebody..Finally the boy, frustrated as he was, picked up a large stone fallen on the road..That, made the driver change his mind, and he opened the doors of the bus. Once the boys entered the bus, there another round of abuse. Th boy tried to talk rationally, explaining that had the bus been full, he would never have demanded to board it…but since he was being continually abused, he started abusing back…the whole scene turned very ugly, and ended only when the boy in question alighted the bus at his stop, albeit not without some ugly verbal exchange with the driver.

In the meanwhile, like all other passengers in the bus, I sat silently watching the whole episode, agreeing with the boy from within, yet saying nothing to the driver and conductor, who were clearly in the wrong!!

When the driver didn’t open the doors, I could have protested; when he threatened to run the boy over, I could have protested;..but no, I sat like a statue, just like typical Indian public, who I keep criticising for such attitude of theirs!!

I felt ashamed of myself today……

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It’s time to take a stand! We are no longer the “third person”!!

A 14 year-old girl from Patil Estate slum got raped by fellow slum-dwellers last month. She was coming back home from work when the incident happened. After this incident, the slumdwellers have been afraid of sending their daughters to school…

What do you all have to say about this? “Oh yes, we hear about rape cases all the time!!”, or “Tch tch, how unfortunate!” , or “It’s a bad bad world out there!”, and even “Why did the girl venture outside ? Was she going to meet her boyfriend??”? Someone slightly angrier shall also say, “The rapist should be burnt alive, only then will people be afraid to do that!” Somebody apathetic will say, “oh, but what can we do, we are the Third Person, we can never fully comprehend or cure the situation!” In fact, I think even if all of us feel any of the other things mentioned above or not, we all shall invariably blurt the last one, “what can we do??”

Wake up guys, we are not, and never were the third persons! A crime as heinous as rape, is not a crime towards someone else, it is a crime towards the society, towards OUR society. Rape doesn’t just affect the rape victim, but it leaves a deep gash on many many others. Take the example of the Patil Estate rape, the poor girl was traumatised, at the same time, lots of other girls and their parents began to live under the constant fear of RAPE, so much that they even began forbidding their daughters from going to school! Tomorrow, if such a crime happens in your locality, you also will start being extra careful about your daughters/sisters or other female relatives! And thereby spread the most dangerous thing in this world…fear!

It is this fear that actually makes rape an ‘unavoidable crime’ in our society, about which we claim to be able to do nothing. It is this fear that makes rape an ‘irrecoverable harm’, affecting the soul, mind and character, more than the body of the victim. It is this fear that prevents us from speaking and acting openly against this disgusting display of the so-called ‘power’ of men, and the vulnerability of women against all but one attacks – attack on their so-called vulnerability!!

This is the time to wake up and realize our responsibilities friends! We need to protest!! Someone’s mother, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, friend, nanny, servant, teacher, and so on, gets raped, we read about it, express our ‘displeasurean disgust’ and go on with our lives. It’s high time we do more.

I am not saying that we all take law into our hands and trace and ‘punish’ the guilty. No we can’t do that, but we can do much more!! We can spread awareness about this issue, we can be brave and speak up about this issue, we can stop judging the heinousness of a rape attack on the basis of the victim’s ‘character’, we can encourage the women around us to be fearless, we can encourage the men around us to look at women with a sense of equality, we can educate our youngsters about how important respecting women is, we can stop being the viewers, and participate in eradicating violence against women, there are so many many things that we can do…

and we should do!!!!

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I’m back!! :-)

Okay, okay, i’ve been outta circuit for quite some time now, I agree….

Was just going through the grinds of life shall I say…and am still, but I am tired of making it an issue, and don’t plan to do so, any longer!!!

Yeah, so what “interesting” stuff was I doing while I wasn’t here? Well, reading, teaching, and watching movies!! Didn’t travel or trek much, thanks to the bad weather and bad health….uh oh…change the topic!!! :-))

Yeah, so let’s start with reading (i know a book review is long overdue!!).

After a loong time, I got out my copy of Khaled Hosseni’s “The Kite Runner”. Read it in two nights flat, and my oh my, wasn’t it incredible!! The author managed to actually recreate the whole Afghanistan scene for the readers. The story, a unique tale of immaturity, faith, loyalty and a journey towards redemption, was so nicely unfolded in this book, that I got completely absorbed in that book, I even cried a couple of times!! And Hassan’s character, I think is one of the most well-writtn and yet unfathomable characters I’ve come across!! My heart goes out to the sheer innocent loyalty and, how should I put it, apnapan that he shows towards Amir, the protagonist. Ammazzing, divine, one of its kind!!

And since I liked The Kite Runner so much, I also got hold of A Thousand Splendid Suns, by the same author. This book tells the story of two women in Afghanistan, who are so unlike each other, and yet finally find solace in standing up for each other. Engrossing and with its heart in the right place, all this book lacked, to be mentioned in the league of The Kite Runner was , ofcourse, Hassan!!

Then I also read Digital Fortress(nice, but very Sidney Sheldonesque), Bourne Ultimatum (good, but not my type really!!), and the Twilight Series!!! About the last one, It needs a sperate blog post to give it full justice!! :-)))

Currently I am reading The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. This is also an ammmazingly insightful book, and I am already bowled over it. Just fathom these lines on freedom:

“You shall be free indeed when your days are not without a care nor your nights without a want and a grief,

But rather when these things girdle your life and yet you rise above them naked and unbound.”

Intriguing aren’t they?? I am already a big fan of this author!! Hopefully, when I am finished with reading the book, I will have much more to blog about it…

Then, movies, well it’s been mostly watching movies on DVD, because of the multiplex strike and the swine flue scare!! Nevertheless, I managed to catch up on a “critically-acclaimed” Marathi movie Gandh (Smell), which went right above my head and contained grey cells!! Also watched the suppper dupper hit marathi movie (again) Mi ShivajiRaje Bhosle Boltoy, which had some good intutive dialogue, but was average otherwise.

And last, but not at all the least, have been teaching: not just English Grammar this time, but also some interesting newly-learnt life-skills stuff. This too, deserves a seperate full-length blog post to make full justice to it.

Ahh, it already feels good having written so much…hopefully will be back soon with more!! Cya people!!

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What the hell!!!!

After a tiring and yet ful-fillling saturday (Wednesday- good movie!!, teaching at Eklavya Nyasa, a visit to the Ganpatis of Pune, and a 90 minutes walk from PMC to KP!!!!), I was just beginning to chill at the CCD(Devil’s Own..wowww). Suddenly I happened to glance at the Plasma TV screen, and whhaaattt… SERIAL BLASTS ROCK DELHI!!!! That was the breaking news being shown on a news channel. And I was like…..WHAT THE HELL is going on here????

Bangalore, Jaipur, Ahmedabad, and now our National Capital!!!! What do these terrorists think our cities are – Bomb testing grounds?? What do they think our people are – guinea pigs to their sadist fancies??? I mean, WHAT THE HELL,man!!!!

Now you must be thinking, why has this girl suddenly got agitated? Bomb-blasts are a common thing now-a-days! (Believe me, a friend actually said that to me!!) I think not…I get more and more angry with every passing attack!! C’mo guys, once can be mourned, twice can be tolerated…but how can you see such things happening to your fellows again and again and again????

As the news and the gory pics started flashing, I called up my Delhi friends to enquire about their safety.. Half of them didn’t even know that such a thing had occured! They and the rest who did, were fine, thankfully!

I was all the more enraged on knowing the locations of the bombs…Karol Bagh, Cannaught Place, Central Park, Gretaer Kailash!! Again WHAT THE HELL!!! Aimed at places that are so much frequented by commoners!!! How can you aim to kill hundreds of people, just like that?? I mean, no human can do that!! Worst of the worse, 1 bomb out of the 3 diffused was in a children’s park!! Children’s park?? CHILDREN’S PARK???? We’d seen this happening in trains, buses, temples, bus stops….. But which pathetic sadist would want to plant a bomb in a children’s park???? Isn’t there even an ounce of virtue/ humanity left in these terrorist orgs???

The irrational long mail sent by IM said that this was to avenge the bad treatment dished out to muslims…Pray how did they ensure that no Muslim got killed or even hurt during these blasts?? Just WHAT THE HELL do these guys think they are doing??????????

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Mumbai Meri Jaan!!

ATTENTION: This post is not a movie review…its just an attempt to describe the movie hand in hand with its lovely title song!! Lemme know how you find it. The movie review’s coming up soon!
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AE DIL HAI MUSHKIL, JEEENA YAHAN, JARA HATKE JARA BACHKE YE HAI BOMBAY MERI JAAN…….

O my heart, it’s so difficult…to live on here, a li’l conscious, a li’l careful this is Mumbai my dear……….

And in this Mumbai, there is a Rupali Joshi(Soha Ali Khan), a mainstream TV journalist who is hard-working but typically TRP-sensitive, and then later, a victim of her own news channel who broadcasts her personal tragedy as a aaj ki taaza khabar!
KAHIN BUILDING, KAHIN TRAAMEIN, KAHIN MOTOR KAHIN MILL, MILTA HAI YAHAN SAB KUCHH, IK MILTA NAHI DIL……
And there is a very righteous, conscientious Indianism-preacher Nikhil (R Madhavan) who ends up dropping guns when it really matters, and gets convinced that US is indeed the right place for people like him……
INSAAN KA NAHI KAHIN NAM-O-NISHAAN…YEH HAI BOMBAY YEH HAI BOMBAY YE HAI BOMBAY MERI JAAAN……………

Then there is a hawaldar (Vijay Maurya) who is angry about the whole condition of the police force, wants to do something about this, and yet can’t entirely muster up the courage……..
KAHIN SATTA KAHIN PATTA KAHIN CHORI KAHIN RACE, KAHIN DAAKA KAHI FAAKA KAHIN THOKAR KAHIN THES…….
And there is a almost-bankrupt and almost-anti-Islam computer vendor Suresh (Kay Kay Menon) who thinks he can atleast try and do his bit against terrorism by suspecting, and inspecting fellow-Muslims…..
BEKAARON KE HAIN KAIN KAAM YAHAN, YEH HAI BOMBAY YEH HAI BOMBAY YE HAI BOMBAY MERI JAAAN………….

And there is a mobile chaiwala (Irrfan Khan) who creates his own way of taking revenge from the mall he was thrown out from, by calling malls with hoax bomb threats and ruining their business….
BEGHAR KO AAWARA YAHA KEHTE HANS HANS, KHUD KAATE GALE SABKE KAHE ISKO BUSINESS……
But when he realizes what harm he can cause by doing this, (an elderly man suffers from a heart attack at the mall), he repents thoroughly and mends his ways….
EK CHEEZ KE HAIN KAIN NAAM YAHAN, YEH HAI BOMBAY YEH HAI BOMBAY YE HAI BOMBAY MERI JAAAN…………..

And there is another hawaldar (Paresh Rawal) who is so used to the corrupt ways of life that he always tells his colleagues, “mumbai me sirf picture dekhne ka, usme acting nahi karne ka ….”, and yet when his conscience rings, he lets go off Suresh who’d once abused him saying… Aapko kisine dhakka diya, aur aapne usko dhakka na deke ye silsila udhar hi khatm kar dia, to problem to khatam hi na…..
BURA DUNIYA KO HAI KEHTA AISA BHOLA TO BAN, JO HAI KARTA WO HAI BHARTA HAI YAHA KA YE CHALAN
And this same Suresh then finds a new way of friendship, business and life…….
DADAGIRI NAHIN CHALNE KI YAHAN, YEH HAI BOMBAY YEH HAI BOMBAY YE HAI BOMBAY MERI JAAAN…………..

AE DIL HAI AASAAN, JEEENA YAHAN, JARA HATKE JARA BACHKE YE HAI BOMBAY MERI JAAN…….

O my heart, it’s so easy…to live on here, a li’l conscious, a li’l careful this is Mumbai my dear………. 🙂

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My first meme!

My cousin Aditya just tagged me to this meme.. So trying my hand at it!

1) One job I’ve had:

Well, if you mean a job that pays you money, that is! Yep, I’ve had just one job for the last 2 and half years of my life(!!!). Its a typical IT industry job..do I need to say more?? 😐

2). Seven movies I could sit through repeated screenings of

Taare Zameen Par: Watched it thrice in the theatres, and a number of times ar other places
Chak De India : Make that twice in the theatres, and rest same as above 😛

Independence Day: Will Smith rules!!!
Titanic: The mother of all grand romantic movies!
All the Harry Potter movies: Delightfully entertaining, no matter how many times you watch ’em
Parichay: The freshest old movie I’ve ever seen!
Mrs. Doubtfire: Sweet, funny and very touching, this movie can be the best advocate of the intensity of paternal love

Ohh and there are many others!! But these are surely at the apex!

3)Six places I’ve lived in:

Mapusa, Goa, India
Taligaon, Panaji, Goa, India
Trivandrum, Kerala, India
Kothrud, Pune, India
Koregao Park, Pune, India
Trianglen, Copenhagen, Denmark

4). Five TV shows I like:

Tu tu main main
I dream of Genie
Tom and Jerry
Friends
Mahabharat 🙂 Watched it a lot as a kid!

5). Four favourite “categories of” foods:

Chocolate, potato chips, caramel popcorn
Pav Bhaji, Masala dosa
Pizza, McVeggie(hmm..that’s on the top of my list!)
Coffees and pastries from CCD 🙂

6). Four places I’d rather be:

If that translates as dream holiday destinations, they’d be

Kashmir (esp. after having visited Kanyakumari, i really really wanna go to the Earth’s paradise)
Greece, sounds so exotic!
Niagara falls: Want to experience the vastness and force of water!
Konark: For many reasons, the idea of a sun temple enchants me, plus I wanna see the sun rising from the sea!

7). Four people I’m tagging:

Anwar
Kedar
Aseem
Guru

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Valentine’s Day is cominggggg!!!!

Yeah, so it’s the 13th of February, just a day to go for the Valentine’s Day!!! “So why are you bothered??”, quips my colleague at office, “Aren’t you single, and happily so????”

Goddd!! colleagues at work!!!! relatives!! friends’ mummies!!!! It seems that the only job remaining on their ‘to-do’ lists is to find a suitable match for ‘ellligible’ young girls around! Ohh, but we are deflecting away from the topic!

Hmm, so I was talking about Valentine’s Day!! Loyal readers might remember that I have already written a post about Valentine’s day sometime before; but whereas that one addressed an issue about V-day/D-day conflict, this one is on a much lighter note… While we were chit-chatting at office, we just realized that this was the silver jubilee of the Valentine’s days in our lives!! (Hahaha!) So I thought why not, ek article, Vday ke naam!!

For starters, how many of you know how Valentine’s day originated? Not the specific details, but atleast an idea?

Valentine’s day celebrates the life of Saint Valentine who during some king’s rule(amnesia!!!!), inspite of the king’s orders that soldiers in army weren’t allowed to get married; guided them towards matrimonial harmony. Got beheaded as a result!<sigh!>

So Valentine’s day came into being, as a celebration, a commemoration, a remembrance, to the the right to love, and take love forward, into marital bliss!!(That’s sad to some, is it???LOL)

Anyways, yeah, so that’s it that there is to it! Or is it?

What is Valentine’s day to us today? A day to spell out your feelings for your loved ones, a day to take out time for your ‘someone special’, a day to sit and discuss about how many shops the saffron brigade will destroy today? And ofcourse, the day for quintessential debate- are we aping the western culture?? !!&&##$$$

Well, as I have previously said, it is just another occasion for me to celebrate LIFE!! We are so busy with our work otherwise, that we seldom get time to pamper ourselves… So do it on V day…what’s the harm?? Me and my room mates surely did so last year.. Cooked an elaborate meal of Pizza and Custard, did up our house with flowers, and enjoyed!!!! 🙂

Now, there’s so much more that I can write about all this, but, why don’t you guys chip in this time? Lemme know what you feel about Valentine’s day, and also how you celebrate it in your own way.. And then, we can have a further discussion! 🙂 What say people?

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Just look around!!! There’s so much to learn!!

Was returning home from office yesterday, when I stopped by at the key maker’s. There were a couple of other elederly men there, and were discussing current affairs, as usual. Because of the lack of options, I reluctantly started overhearing their conversation. Little did I know, that this would turn out to be the most sensible talk that I would heard in the entire day, or may be in the entire week too.

The key maker was kinda working late, so an elderly man there were asking him to hurry up. As an analogy, he said that “it is the law of nature, see, even birds go home when the sun sets. Only a few work late, like eagles, kites and vultures, but they too, only till a stipulated time.” This sentence kinda caught my attention. Then the conversation drifted to whether one can see such birds these days, and the same guy said that yes, you can easily find them at Parsi crematoriums, where the funeral rituals include laying up corpses of the deceased in empty wells, where they are preyed upon by kites and vultures, and eagles. “Strange are the ways of some”, he said. The other two people there laughed acknowledgingly. But then the man said, “There’s nothing wrong in that too….In some communities they burn, in some they bury; Parsis feed them to birds: So even after they are dead, they are used in feeding hungry birds. So what if it sounds odd, Parsis make difference to the world even as they leave it!”

Isn’t that insightful? I mean, being so much educated, and supposedly fitting into the ‘intellectual’ category of people; I had not even thought about why Parsis could be cremating their dead bodies that way; let alone thinking about them so profoundly. But an elderly,lonely, probably not very educated country man woke me up from my delusions. Philosophy, my friends, isn’t the copyright of Paulo Coelho or Ayn Rand; or even the myriad Yogis and sages. Philosophy is delivered by any one who wants to think, and say his thoughts aloud!!!

Well, I am generally delighted when I get to know anything that is informative and at the same time intelligent and insightful; and given that, the man surely made my day!!!

1) Bamboo toothbrushes

2) Compostable trash can liner bags

3) No balloons at birthday parties

4) No disposable plates, silverware, or straws

5) Water filter pitcher and steel water bottles

6) Reusable shopping bags

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Author: Trevor Noah

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